HOLLYWOOD, CA – Virtue signaling and outrage reached new levels this week when a survey revealed the real reason so many celebrities want federal mask mandates to continue is because it’s so much harder now to travel anonymously.
While publicists across the entertainment world rejoiced when a federal judge struck down the federal mask mandate that applied to many forms of public transportation, their entitled and spoiled clients quickly pitched a vegan-fueled fit.
The rub?
The celebrity would no longer be able to travel mostly anonymously anymore.
Results from a survey recently published show that over 98% of celebrities really don’t think masks worked and were mostly supporting them because Oprah was supporting them and they didn’t want anyone else in Hollywood to think they didn’t agree with Oprah.
The very same survey suggested that almost 91% of celebrities ended up liking face masks because it meant they could shop at Target again for more affordable clothes instead of at some overpriced store in Beverly Hills that far outstripped their actual budget because they’d not been in a good role in a few years and no one would know they were slumming it at Target.
In fact, anonymity was revealed to be the single greatest reason why so many celebrities kept pushing for continued and perpetual face mask usage despite mountains of evidence suggesting they were not as effective as we all wanted them to be.
Finally, the results of the survey revealed that 4 celebrities were actually irritated at the masks mandates because their careers were so far into the dumpster that they needed to be seen by the paparazzi.
These celebrities were forced to result to “freaking out on an airplane” in a desperate bid to get their names into a news cycle and stay relevant.
B.S.
Nothing is stopping them from wearing a mask if they choose to do so.