ONTARIO, CA – Popular Southern California’s popular Ontario International Airport (ONT) has formally challenged its older competitor, Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) to a duel.
In a move no one saw coming, the popular industrial-area-based Southern California airport known as the “O. N. T.” issued a challenge to its bigger and somewhat shadier cousin LAX.
After recently breaking itself back off from a subservient relationship with LAX, the Ontario International Airport (ONT) is feeling a bit spunky these days. The easy-to-use airport continues to siphon on traffic from LAX targeting people who simply refuse to travel the 11 extra hours of traffic necessary to fly out of LAX.
Now, the airport is ready to dance and recently issue a challenge to the LAX airport offering to meet at a neutral ground for a duel. The proposed location for the duel is the John Wayne International (SNA) airport where the two airports will meet at high noon on a Tuesday.
According to the official statement from the ONT Airport, the airport “…challenges LAX to a duel of epic proportions where leadership from both airports will meet on runways of SNA and fight to the death in a battle using swords and nunchucks.”
The winner of the duel gets the naming rights to the other’s airport along with an option to pick a unique benefit of their choosing. Reportedly, the ONT airport is seeking the reinstatement of the United Airlines Express flights between the airports.
For its part, the LAX airport had not issued a response to the challenge yet as the public affairs official was still stuck in traffic on the 405 and unable to pull together an emergency meeting to issue a statement.
How many time are you gonna use the word “popular” in the first sentence?