DALLAS, TX – Recently, the popular no-frills airline Southwest unveiled plans to add long-awaited power outlets to its fleet of Boeing jets. However, shortly after the announcement, technical specifications of the retrofit were leaked, revealing the plan is actually just to use a couple of long extension cords and surge protectors draped throughout the cabin.
Travelers around the country rejoiced when news of Southwest Airlines’ plan to retrofit its fleet of jets with much needed and long-awaited power outlets. For years, travelers of the low-cost, no-frills airline were forced to sherpa in backpacks full of power bars and extra battery packs for a flight of any significant distance or were forced read the inflight magazine when their battery died.
However, under the new plan, the airline will finally give travelers something they really should have had many years ago: power outlets. The jubilation was soon muted as the technical specifications of the retrofit were quickly leaked.
Indeed, many travelers were pretty nonplussed to learn the low-cost airline’s plan to add power was actually just going to use a couple of extension cords and surge protectors, daisy-chained together, and draped over the seats.
Under the new plan, Southwest gate agents have been given a few hundred dollars to go purchase a bunch of extension cords and surge protectors at their local Home Depot. As flights are turned at their gate, the agents will hand over stacks of extension cords and surge protectors to the flight crew. Then, shortly after takeoff and after the flight has reached its cruising altitude, flight attendants will drag the extension cords and surge protectors out from the back of the cabin, giving travelers the option to plug in their iPads or cell phones.
As the plane approaches its final destination, the flight attendants will designate two passengers to assist in rolling up the cords and stowing them in the aft galley. Passengers designated for this responsibility will be awarded an extra drink coupon for their trouble.
For its part, and in spite of the leak, Southwest leadership was quite pleased with the plan, noting in a recent earnings call, that they are, admittedly, a “bit late to the power game,” but in traditional Southwest fashion, were able to “keep their costs low and still get a little of the quirky Southwest spirit going at the same time.”
You are reading the new travel satire site from the BoardingArea.com network. The Takeoff Nap is fake news all day, every day. We lampoon the travel industry – just for fun, giggles and laughs because we could all use a little humor these days. So, please like, follow and subscribe and check back for more each day.
The Takeoff Nap
