Are you tired of arriving at your destination feeling calm and collected? Do you want to make sure everyone around you knows how stressed and inconvenienced you are? Well, fear not, because we are here to guide you on how to throw a proper travel freakout at the airport.
Step 1: Arrive Late
The key to a successful freakout is to arrive at the airport with little to no time to spare. Make sure you don’t check the traffic or the airline’s recommended arrival time before leaving your house. You want to feel that rush of adrenaline as you sprint through the airport to make it to your gate just in time.
Step 2: Overpack
Bring everything but the kitchen sink. And don’t worry about the weight limit. You can always argue with the airline staff about how your bags are essential to your trip and how they can’t possibly charge you extra for them. Bonus points if you bring oversized items that won’t fit in the overhead compartment.
Step 3: Be Rude
You’re stressed out, and everyone around you should know it. So be rude to the airline staff, the security personnel, and your fellow passengers. Cut in line, scream at people, and make sure to use colorful language. Remember, you’re the star of this freakout show, and everyone else is just an extra.
Step 4: Make a Scene
When things don’t go your way, make sure to create a scene. Cry, scream, and throw things around. If you’re lucky, someone might film you, and you could become a viral sensation on social media.
Step 5: Blame Everyone But Yourself
If your flight is delayed or canceled, make sure to blame everyone but yourself. Blame the airline, the weather, or even the airport’s architecture. It’s not your fault that you arrived late, overpacked, and were rude to people.
In conclusion, throwing a proper travel freakout at the airport is an art form that requires dedication, planning, and a complete disregard for other people’s feelings. But with these five steps, you too can become a master of the freakout, and leave a lasting impression on everyone around you. Bon voyage!
This satirical article was generated by our Lord and Savior, ChatGPT