The leaders of Delta Air Lines, United Airlines, American Airlines, Southwest Airlines, and Alaska Airlines all met at an airline industry conference this past week and have decided to install gender neutral bathrooms on all of their Boeing and Airbus aircraft started in 2023.
In a rare show of mutual agreement, the airlines all decided together to make these changes moving forward, citing the recent fervor in the political news about gender identity and gender neutral bathrooms as the reason for the move.
Kansas City airport!! Helll nooo. I will not fly into this airport. If I ever do I will piss in the parking lot before I go in a bathroom. pic.twitter.com/uave9se4Ht
— Jan Maynard (@iamjannana) March 1, 2023
It took a long time to come to a consensus but in a 5-0 vote, the heads of the airlines and their respective marketing departments have decided to call the new bathrooms on airplanes… exactly what they were called before… LAVATORIES.
It turns out that airlines have been using gender neutral bathrooms in their airplanes for years, decades even. “By calling our existing lavatories ‘gender neutral lavatories’ we hope to capture a market of travelers for whom this matters. Those passengers that have issues with the new gender neutral lavatories will also be pleased to know that these are the exact same lavatories that have existed forever,” said Steven Johnson, head of marketing for the airline industry group.
Kansas City International Airport just completed a major renovation and installed gender-neutral bathrooms, infuriating passengers for no reason whatsoever. Many passengers said “I’d rather piss in the parking lot before I go in a bathroom…”
What these disturbed passengers don’t realize is that every time they go to a hotel, they’re using a gender neutral bathroom. When they go to their friends house for dinner, that’s a gender neutral bathroom. When they go to a portable toilet at an outdoor concert, that’s a gender neutral bathroom. Even when they share a bathroom at their own home with a family member, that’s a gender neutral bathroom.
What, exactly, is the problem here? Those bathrooms are generally for one person at a time, and allow another person to assist someone who might be disabled or otherwise need some help. It’s not like you’re going to walk in on an orgy or something.— ＭＰＨｉｎＰｇｈ (@mphinpgh) March 4, 2023
Perhaps one of the best responses was by @mphinpgh on Twitter, pointing out “it’s not like you’re going to walk in on an orgy or something.”
Indeed, @mphinpgh, indeed.
So, next time you board an airplane and feel the need to pee or even worse, flood the cabin with the scents of your fecal matter, remember that you’re using one of the first ever gender neutral bathrooms in existence. You’ve probably been using it for years without even realizing it.
Have a great flight!