DALLAS, TX – American Airlines executives called an emergency meeting late Tuesday night after learning they’d been supplanted by Southwest Airlines as the worst airline.
As fallout from the now infamous Southwest Airlines debacle continued to lead the daily news cycle, leadership from American Airlines reeled, seemingly caught off guard by the bold strategy employed by their competitor. As the previously undisputed champion of poor customer service, American Airlines appeared to have gotten too comfortable, at least according to one insider who went on background.
“Yeah, we actually had started to see some employees treating customers with respect, actually caring about their itineraries and like their luggage and stuff,” said the high-placed union rep. “The Southwest debacle was a big wake-up call for us. It’s time to return to our roots.”
Under pressure from the union as well as brand management consultants, American Airlines executives met long into the night to identify possible courses of action to retain their place at the bottom.
Reportedly, several unique avenues are being explored including:
- Random flight cancellations for no other reason than it’s just fun
- Analyzing the IT infrastructure used by Southwest to determine its suitability for AA
- Deliberately turning off wi-fi on every 3rd flight
- Losing customer luggage
- Massively devaluing their loyalty program
- Requiring passengers to wear face masks again just to tick them off
- Ensuring that all flight attendants complete an additional course in “How to be a grumpy flight attendant”
While no plans appear to have been formalized, a press conference was scheduled for later in the week where American Airlines leadership will unveil their new strategy to combat Southwest Airlines.
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