Fake News Archives | Page 2 of 11 | The Takeoff Nap

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL - In a tit-for-tat arms race to the bottom, two budget airlines are desperate to see who can provide the worst customer experience. After watching Frontier Airlines cut its customer service line, Spirit played its ace card by eliminating customer service altogether.

Spirit Airlines one-ups Frontier, eliminates customer service altogether

by Lee BallouNovember 27, 2022

DALLAS, TX - American Airlines' COO David Seymour announced new plans for the airline to crack down on passengers actually enjoying their flights.

American Airlines unveils plans to crack down on passengers enjoying their flight

by Lee BallouNovember 16, 2022November 13, 2022

WICHITA, KS - A Delta Airlines pilot inadvertently diverted his flight to a small airport in Wichita, KS despite there being no threat or passenger freakout underway. When questioned, the pilot stated the emergency landing was simply habit born out of flying the last 2 years during the pandemic.

Pilot inadvertently diverts flight out of habit even though no passengers are freaking out

by Lee BallouNovember 13, 2022November 13, 2022

SAN DIEGO, CA - An active duty Coast Guardsman is furious after being turned away from early boarding during a recent flight out of San Diego Airport. The reason: the gate agent didn't really consider the Coast Guard part of the military.

Coast Guardsman not allowed to board flight early after being told he’s not really in the military

by Lee BallouNovember 11, 2022November 11, 2022

VATICAN - Pope Francis announced he intends to retire after a recent trip where he found himself in a middle seat on a Spirit Airlines to Orlando. The 85-year-old figurehead said it was just too much to take.

Pope decides to retire after being forced to fly Spirit Airlines

by Lee BallouNovember 9, 2022October 22, 2022

Days after buying Twitter, Musk admits it was just a ploy to stop that kid from tracking his private jet

by Lee BallouNovember 4, 2022November 4, 2022

DENVER, CO - Samantha O'Brien finished her 2nd IPA and waived down the bartender to closer her tab. As the 34-year-old business traveler signed her bill, she muttered to herself, "Wow, only one douchebag hit on me this entire time. That's got to be a record."

Female business traveler oddly satisfied that only one guy hits on her in airport bar

by Lee BallouNovember 2, 2022October 22, 2022

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Voters will have an opportunity to decide if local homeless camps should be required to house business travelers.

California city to require homeless camps to house business travelers

by Lee BallouNovember 1, 2022October 22, 2022

TIJUANA - Thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies have a new bucket list destination in their sights after Mexico has been named "best destination for those who love the thrill of being kidnapped."

Mexico named “best destination for those who love thrill of being kidnapped”

by Lee BallouOctober 22, 2022October 22, 2022

TAMPA BAY, FL - The Hertz Corporation rehired one of its most infamous spokesmen: convicted criminal O.J. Simpson.

Hertz is Back in Business with O.J. Simpson

by Anson HowardOctober 10, 2022September 30, 2022