a large airplane on a tarmac
Courtesy of Delta Air Lines
Spread the laugh

A lifetime annual Delta Diamond Medallion recently crossed an amazing threshold: he became the first person to amass 14,000,000 Medallion Qualification Miles

The traveler known informally known as “Todd O. From San Diego” accomplished the historic feat during a trip from Zurich to New York’s Kennedy airport. 

A source alerted certain members of the media as to when Delta’s most prolific passenger would arrive in New York after his landmark accomplishment.

a group of people standing around a table with food
Image courtesty of Delta Air Lines

When the 14-million-miler arrived at the airport named after MTV’s “Most Hated VJ,” this reporter asked him what he planned to do to celebrate.

“I’m going to Disney World,” Mr. From San Diego said, apparently emulating the famous commercials featuring championship-winning athletes announcing their assumed invitations to visit the famous resort in Lake Buena Vista, Florida.

However, Mr. From San Diego sounded less than enthused. This reporter chalked up the response to jet lag or exhaustion. 

That was not the case.

“I’ve burned a few SkyPesos in my day,” he said. {Editor’s Note: “SkyPesos” is a slang term for Delta SkyMiles, often used in an insulting fashion.] 

“But these latest SkyPeso redemptions are ridiculous,” he continued. “I have three million redeemable SkyPesos right now. The best I can do for us is roundtrip from San Diego to Orlando — with connections in Atlanta both ways, of course — for two million SkyPesos total. But, at least it’s First Class. Maybe we’ll get PDBs, but Delta hasn’t exactly been consistent about that. [Editor’s Note: PDB is frequent flyer slang for “Pre-Departure Beverage,” also known as “free drinks they give you before you leave.]

“I remember the day when two million SkyMiles got me and a couple of loved ones some business class flights from San Diego to Europe. Roundtrip!” he reminsiced. “But now, the closest to that I’ll get is walking around the World Showcase at (redacted) EPCOT.”

a group of people standing around a table with a cake
Image courtesy of Delta Air Lines

“To think that I took those crazy New York to Mexico City to Shanghai to Madrid to Seoul and back or whatever MQD SkyTeam whackass trips “magically found” by that Points Boarding Guy or whatever it’s called blog writes about..,” Mr. From San Diego said through gritted teeth. “But at least I got some cake. Right?”

A despondent correspondent for multiple blogs. Lover of travel, writing, and cocktails -- especially all of them at the same time.