AUSTIN, TX – Billionaire Elon Musk has purchased 365 private jets to help avoid a college kid who is still tracking his flight movements. Each jet will move to a different spot in the world like a giant shell game.
After an attempt to pay off an enterprising young college kid who was using publicly available information to track Billionaire Elon Musk’s private jet movements was rebuffed, Musk is turning the tables by flexing on the kid.
Today, Musk announced that he is deploying a few of his many billions of dollars that were lying around to purchase an entire fleet of private jets from several companies. Some planes are purchased are used models while others have yet to be built.
The CEO’s of several companies were quite shocked at the purchase and are scrambling to actually find parts to build the new aircraft for Musk. The CEO of LearJets, with a 949 million dollar purchase order in hand (a Tweet from Musk, actually), tore up previous purchase orders from the #6 and #7 billionaires on the list of the world’s richest people in order to give their planes to Musk.
The only condition of his mega purchase was that each airplane company must take his order in Dogecoin. This, of course, immediately sent a few CEOs scrambling to figure out exactly what Dogecoin was. The finance department from one unnamed jet company has already managed to lose access to a crypto wallet during the transaction thereby losing 49 million dollars in the process.
For his part, Musk intends to use the fleet of aircraft to confuse the kid tracking him on Twitter after his payoff attempt failed.
Musk noted that “If this plan doesn’t work then I am just going to buy Twitter, and ban his account. I will literally even buy Gab and Gettr too.” Musk later added, “But not Facebook, cuz Zuck is a bit of dick and I have his plane now anyway.”