WASHINGTON, DC – In a dramatic confrontation, a federal judge has struck down the federal judge who struck down the federal face mask mandate requiring face masks or coverings on airplanes, busses, and trains.
U.S. District Judge Alexandria Giffords-Booker IV who represents the 375th District Court is reported to have struck down her fellow U.S. District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle, who earlier today voided the national mask mandate.
According to witnesses, Giffords-Booker, a Vermont native, was in Florida for the week when the ruling from her colleague came down. After hearing the news she promptly walked down the hall to her colleague’s office and struck her with a rolled-up copy of the magazine The Progressive.
As she stormed out of the office she pulled her fogged-up glasses down a bit so she could see better and shouted through her face mask, “No one puts the mask mandate in the corner!”
Judge Kimball Mizelle, who’d earlier that day ruled that the federal mask mandate exceeded the authority of the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, was caught off guard a bit by the move and was said to have burst out laughing before finishing her Postmates order.
Allegations have since emerged that Judge Giffords-Booker had been consulted by representatives from the Biden Administration regarding the legality of a new face mask policy called the “Just one more day” policy. The new policy, which only came to light today, suggests that the CDC should simply keep extending the national face mask mandate one day at a time – under the assumption that one more day would be easier for the American public to accept.
For their part, travelers in airports across the country remain confused, perplexed, and overjoyed at the possibility of being able to smell their seatmates’ breath a little better on flights.