DENVER, CO – A bored United Airlines pilot decided to execute a go-around after completing an extremely uneventful 3-hour flight. When asked why he chose to do the unneeded maneuver, the pilot responded, “I just needed some fun, man!”
57-year old Carl Dexler has spent over 30 years with United Airlines. The veteran pilot has flown countless hours, crisscrossing the globe while racking up a hefty pension. But Dexler, as his friend later told our reporters, had recently grown restless as he approached the end of this flying career.
It was this restlessness that was reportedly the source of a recent incident that occurred as Dexler’s United Airlines flight 4872 made its final approach into the Denver International Airport last Thursday.
As the plane approached a mere 200 feet from the runway, Dexler suddenly belly-laughed (according to the co-pilot) and yanked the plane off its descending path back into the air. The maneuver is known as a go-around and is usually only executed when an emergency occurs during the landing sequence. For example, another plane entering the runway, or a landing gear issue.
For Dexler, and his planeload of passengers, there was no emergency. According to the flight crew aboard Dexler’s flight, the pilot was simply bored, having spent an innumerable number of hours with literally no serious flying incidents.
“I’ve always wanted to do another one of these,” Dexler later told his Union rep. “It just seemed like the fun thing to do in the moment.”
Passengers aboard the flight were startled when the plane engines accelerated and the plane veered left, ascending rapidly. They were even more confused when the pilot came on the PA system announcing, “Nothing to worry about folks, we are just doing a little practice here.”
Business traveler Silas Jones was nonplussed, however, as he’d made the decision to not use the lavatory before the plane began its landing sequence and his bladder was brimming.
By all accounts, Dexler has not been punished by the airline owing to an aggressively protective pilot Union.
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This is incredibly stupid. Considering how many people will think this is true, it does a disservice to airline professionals. Also, United pilots don’t have a pension anymore since 9/11
There is no pilot on the Ual seniority list with that name. Draw your own conclusions
Huh so he did get fired.
@Mark: Welcome to satire.
I think this stupid column has run its course. Hopefully BoardingArea will end this nonsense soon.
If you don’t like satire, maybe avoid satirical websites like this one in the future.
That’s a negative, Ghostrider.
I try to but when its posted alongside legitimate articles sometimes it gets the unintentional click. Look, this stupid. Plain and simple. I can’t imagine that reader engagement is anywhere near the other writers…. even the bad ones. Keep telling yourself that this is a legitimate contribution to the frequent traveling community.
100k or so readers might suggest otherwise. But thanks for taking the time to click the site multiple times, and leave comments. Our bounce rate thanks you and we appreciate the extra pennies.
Save the snark dude. You won’t have to worry about me again. It’s obvious that you’re not capable of making meaningful contributions to the flyer community so this is how you get by. It won’t last forever I’m sure.
Does the house of hate you live in hurt that much? It really must be tough to live a life so full of bitterness and anger that you have to go out of your way to spread the anger onto something you just don’t like instead of just moving on like a normal person. Noted.
By Felicia.
99,999 readers now. Well, crud. We will rebuild.