NEW ORLEANS, LA - A Louisiana traveler was dumbfounded when his wife actually boarded their flight on time last Thursday. Apparently she didn't even run to the bathroom.
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NEW ORLEANS, LA – A Louisiana traveler was dumbfounded when his wife actually boarded their flight on time last Thursday. Apparently she didn’t even run to the bathroom.


“We’ve taken hundreds of flights during the 28 years we’ve been together,” Tom Colome, 53, said of his wife, Beverly, also 53. “We love traveling.”

“But every time we fly, a gate agent’s boarding announcement triggers something in my wife,” he explains. “My beautiful bride always says, “Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.” Or ‘You know what? I need a few things in the shop. Like, why can’t she get one of those concerns literally out of her system before then?”

Mr. Colome added, “We always get to the airport early. Usually at least two hours early. Sometimes, three. We just don’t like being rushed. So, there’s plenty of time to hit the head or shop. Which we do. Usually multiple times.

“She’s a woman, so I understand good timing isn’t exactly an inborn trait. But it still frustrates me.”

However, something unexpected occurred during their trip from Dallas-Ft. Worth to Shreveport.

“When the gate agent announced our flight home was boarding, I automatically rolled my eyes and got comfortable. I started reading a book. Bevvy looks at me and says, ‘Ready?’ I says back to her, ‘Yeah, I’m ready: to sit here for a half-hour and worry about missing our flight while you go the bathroom and then spend sixty dollars on gum, some tchotchkes, and a People magazine at the Hudsons [sic] store.’”

Mrs. Colome, though, was ready to board their flight.

“I made sure to take care of all my usual habits about fifteen minutes before boarding,” Mrs. Colome explained. “Both Tom and I are slightly concerned about my sudden impulse to be on time for flights, so we’re going to see a doctor.”

The couple was still late boarding their plane, though. Mr. Colome was so surprised his wife was on time that it triggered something inside him and he needed to use the restroom. On his way back to the gate, he saw a “really cool (Dallas) Cowboys hat at the Hudsons [sic] store for only, like, forty bucks” that he knew his buddy Jim would like. He also purchased some Dots, breath mints, and a bottle of water “just in case” for another $21.

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Anson Howard

A despondent correspondent for multiple blogs. Lover of travel, writing, and cocktails -- especially all of them at the same time.

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