LONDON – A Ryanair pilot is in the news again after threatening to turn the plane around if someone didn’t airdrop him some nudes. The announcement was broadcast to the entire plane and was quickly responded to by at least 19 passengers.
Passengers were shocked when Ryanair pilot Steve McMullen broke the silence aboard a recent flight demanding that someone “airdrop him some nudes or he’d turn the plane around.”
McMullen, a 28-year-old veteran pilot, was clear: “Listen, folks, this is a long flight, and I will be on autopilot most of the time. I need something to do until we get there so send what you got. Just no Spirit Airlines themed-porn, ok.”
After the initial shock wore off, at least 19 passengers, and one flight attendant, quickly met the call, airdropping hundreds of nudes to the pilot who responded with gratitude. “Thank you, everyone. I’d lost my faith in humanity, but gestures like these give me hope.”
His hopes were quickly dashed as he pored through the photos passengers had sent him and realized his plane was full of a bunch of depraved people who wouldn’t even be found in the darkest corners of Reddit.
The post you are reading is…satire