WASHINGTON, DC (SATIRE) – Transportation Security Administration (TSA) Chief Dan Pekoske announced a new study to evaluate the merits of changing the longstanding 3.4 oz liquids rule to something far more generous.
During a press conference, earlier this week the embattled head of the agency responsible for keeping America’s airports safe announced a new study that is going to take a long hard look at the TSA liquids rule that requires travelers to keep their liquids no larger than 3.4 0unces.
The post 9/11 rule was instituted after a terrorist attempt to blow up a plane using large quantities of liquid explosives was thwarted. Under the old rule, travelers could only bring liquids through security that were equal to or less than 3.4 ounces – unless those liquids were salsa, breast milk, sunscreen and later, hand sanitizer.
The rule was based on a mathematical formula that suggested that explosive liquids under this size wouldn’t pack enough punch to actually take a plane down.
Under the new study, the TSA is examining whether the jump to 3.6 ounces would result in increased risk to the flights. Pekoske noted in his remarks, “We are a little concerned that the extra .2 ounces might be too generous, but the study will bear this out.”
No official timetable on when the study would be completed and when a formal rule change might be implemented was noted, however, insiders suggest that it could be as early as 2045 – a remarkably fast timeframe for a government agency.