WASHINGTON, DC – After three terrorists revealed they have identified a radical new technology known as mixing the Transportation Security Administration found itself on the back foot this weekend.
The longstanding 3.4 ounce TSA liquid limit has come under new scrutiny after three forward-thinking terrorists announced they’d uncovered a progressive new method for building explosive materials.
In a now-viral Whatsapp message, a French terrorist organization known as the Bons Sens shared a brief video where they used several seemingly innocuous containers of liquid – each under the 3.4 ounce TSA limit – and then mixed them together creating a powerful explosive.
TSA Administrator Bill McClumpin acknowledged the new technology has set the agency back on its heels during a press conference held late Saturday evening. “We are currently retrenching,” he said. “It’s unclear where we go from here, but we’ve assembled a team of experts to conduct a 4-year study and provide some options.”
Leaks from within the agency suggest that the TSA is considering a ban on all liquids, along with lighters, matches, and plastic containers of any sort or size. Also on the table is the complete and total ban of shoes because of that one time with that one guy.