CHICAGO, IL – A business traveler is forced to admit that maybe Chicago is finally turning things around after only getting mugged once on his recent business trip to the Windy City.
49-year-old Jim Martin spends most of his week flitting around the country as part of his job. The seasoned sales vice president recently returned from a trip to the Windy City and shared some unexpectedly positive feedback on Facebook.
In comments that were quickly picked up by the Chicago Board of Tourism and the Mayor’s Office of Business Outreach, Martin noted in the Facebook post that he was glad to see Chicago finally starting to take public safety seriously. He noted:
“Dang, y’all. Only got mugged once on this last trip to Chicago. Last time I was here it was 3 times in 48 hours. Really good to see Chicago’s leaders stepping up. Also, I counted less than 15 homeless people on the half block walk to the Starbucks. Sadly, the Starbucks was closed because of a recent armed robbery, but still, it seems like the tide might finally be turning.”Facebook Post; Jim Martin; Road Warrior
For its part, the City of Chicago quickly pointed to the post as proof that the Mayor was taking public safety seriously, and that the new policy to arrest people once they’ve completed at least 8 felonies, or 16 misdemeanors were showing some early signs of success.
A spokesperson from the City of Chicago Mayor’s Office held a press conference from the steps of its new headquarters which had recently been relocated to Dallas, Texas in a bid to keep city officials from continuously being mugged. The spokesperson offered this:
“Policies like the 8-strikes-and-you-go-to-jail-for-72-hours are exactly what this city needs. Despite the fact that most businesses have moved their headquarters out of the city to places like Texas or Washington, DC — including us, we believe the city is on track to be the safest it’s been in over 96 hours. Soon, it will pretty much mostly….er…kinda safe to be in the city. Prolly.”Mayor of Chicago Official Statement
Unfortunately, the press conference, which was live-streamed from Dallas to to huge screens outside the Chicago City Hall, was interrupted by a homeless guy taking a dump on those screens and three junkies shooting heroin.