SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Voters will have an opportunity to decide if local homeless camps should be required to house business travelers.
San Francisco residents will soon have a chance to vote on a new initiative added to the fall ballot. Under the proposal, the city council is seeking to require local homeless camps to start housing business travelers.
Seen as an even more progressive alternative to a recent initiative on the ballot in Los Angeles where local hotels will be required to house the homeless when not sold out, the San Francisco variant promises to even the playing field between the haves and have not.
If it passes, business travelers will soon have the option to book a stay under a local bridge, near a riverbank, or even in a back alley. Various options ranging from cardboard boxes to tents will be made available to business travelers depending on their loyalty status with the camp. Loyalty tiers will also include different benefits depending on nightly stays.
For example, if a business traveler stays 10 nights a year they will achieve the coveted “panhandler” status and receive complimentary half-eaten McMuffins each morning.
If a business traveler stays at least 20 nights in a camp each year he, she, or they will earn “hobo” status and even be issued a commemorative bandana to carry their toiletries in.
Business travelers are reportedly pretty excited about the idea noting that it really can’t be worse than some Hampton Inn’s they have stayed at. Besides, the extra change they can score from an evening happy hour of asking for donations will supplement stingy per diem rates.
The post you are reading is…satire
This site’s satire is often great with the sly cracks, but the thing with satire is it’s only poignant and funny when it goes after those with power and resources, not when it punches down. The LA initiative is ridiculous but to make fun of people who live cardboard boxes under a bridge and consume half-eaten sandwiches isn’t satire; it’s just sad.
Fair enough, but the point is that the local government is the one punching down…by not doing anything about the homeless situation. We understand your take on the article though.
Beautiful! Hopefully, they’ll be placed by the newly approved Democrat legislature and Gov Newsom’s “free and secure” Injectable Drug parlors. Sweet.
Valet parking will expedite the smash-and-grab culture.
I heard that NYC requires that anyone requesting homeless housing gets it, though it may be a room with several bunk beds in it. I thought of asking for such housing when on a business trip but decided against it.