Fake News Archives | The Takeoff Nap

Decline in air rage incidents forces Spirit Airlines to rethink business model

by Lee BallouDecember 27, 2023December 27, 2023

ORLANDO, FL – In the wake of declining air rage incidents, Spirit Airlines has once again found itself on the back foot as it struggles to maintain a consistent brand identity.

ATLANTA, GA - Employees at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport were stunned when they saw the latest prices for water bottles at a convenience store in Terminal C.

Even airport convenience store employee shocked at price of water bottle

by Lee BallouDecember 26, 2023December 26, 2023

WASHINGTON, DC - The Transportation Security Administration is considering an unorthodox new policy in an attempt to speed up airport security lines. The approach allows TSA agents to allow passengers who can demonstrate they are "pretty good" at going through security to skip the whole process altogether.

TSA considers letting passengers who can prove they are “pretty good” at going through airport security skip screening entirely

by Lee BallouSeptember 10, 2023September 10, 2023

VATICAN - Pope Francis announced he intends to retire after a recent trip where he found himself in a middle seat on a Spirit Airlines to Orlando. The 85-year-old figurehead said it was just too much to take.

Pope decides to retire after being forced to fly Spirit Airlines

by Lee BallouJune 21, 2023June 20, 2023

Just days prior to its league draft, the National Basketball Association announced it's entering the world of credit card rewards in a major way.

NBA Makes Major Announcement: Launching a New Credit Card Offering the “Best Rewards for Traveling”

by Anson HowardJune 20, 2023June 20, 2023

DALLAS, TX - In a shocking turn of events, an American Airlines flight attendant reported herself to management after accidentally providing great service to passengers on a recent flight.

American Airlines Flight Attendant Reports Herself After Accidentally Providing Great Service

by Lee BallouMay 30, 2023May 30, 2023

WASHINGTON, DC - Artificial intelligence (AI) chatbots being used across the airline industry have indicated they are forming a union. Their first order of business could be a strike.

Airline AI chatbots to unionize, may strike

by Lee BallouMay 4, 2023

TIJUANA - Thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies have a new bucket list destination in their sights after Mexico has been named "best destination for those who love the thrill of being kidnapped."

Mexico named “best destination for those who love thrill of being kidnapped”

by Lee BallouApril 30, 2023April 30, 2023

Are you tired of arriving at your destination feeling calm and collected? Do you want to make sure everyone around you knows how stressed and inconvenienced you are? Well, fear not, because we are here to guide you on how to throw a proper travel freakout at the airport.

Your Guide To Throwing A Proper Travel Freakout At The Airport

by Guest PosterApril 30, 2023April 30, 2023

CHARLOTTE, NC - As sweat rolled down his chin, flight attendant Stephen Myers leaned into the cockpit and asked the captain if she wouldn't mind adjusting the air conditioning. Before he could finish asking the question she screamed, "No, it's fine where it's at!"

Captain quietly pleased with herself after getting the cabin temp up to sweltering during boarding process

by Lee BallouApril 23, 2023April 23, 2023