Fake News Archives | Page 3 of 12 | The Takeoff Nap

DALLAS, TX - Union reps for American Airlines' flight attendant union reminded its members of the longstanding rule after the airline unveiled a new surreptitious in-flight monitoring program.

AA flight attendant union reminds folks that snitches get stitches

by Lee BallouFebruary 9, 2023February 9, 2023

BOCA RATON, FL - Hertz Car Rental is rolling out an eye-popping new perk for its elite members. Soon, President's Circle members will have a guarantee that they won't be arrested more than once a year after returning cars they've rented.

Hertz unveils new perk for top tier members that restricts arrests to no more than once a year

by Lee BallouFebruary 8, 2023February 7, 2023

WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Aviation Administration announced plans to modernize its IT infrastructure following the recent massive outage that crippled air traffic across the country. Under the new plan, the agency will upgrade all of its client desktops to Windows XP.

FAA to modernize IT equipment, upgrade to Windows XP following massive outage

by Lee BallouJanuary 14, 2023January 14, 2023

DALLAS, TX - After suffering the largest IT failure in its storied history, Southwest Airlines unveiled a massive IT upgrade overhaul that includes issuing new Palm Pilots to all staff members.

Southwest issues new Palm Pilots to all staff in massive IT upgrade project

by Lee BallouJanuary 6, 2023

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This reporter was in Washington, D.C., to observe the madness that is the Speaker of the House election when he heard of a major development at airports across the country.

DEVELOPING: Flights Canceled After TSA Detains Thousands at US Airports When Passengers Say “Bomb”

by Anson HowardJanuary 5, 2023January 5, 2023

DALLAS, TX - American Airlines executives called an emergency meeting late Tuesday night after learning they'd been supplanted by Southwest Airlines as the worst airline.

American Airlines furious Southwest has supplanted them as worst airline

by Lee BallouJanuary 4, 2023January 4, 2023

DALLAS, TX - In a heartfelt message shared earlier this morning, Southwest Airlines CEO Bob Jordan announced plans to personally visit each customer affected by the recent travel chaos. Working in partnership with United Airlines, Jordan plans to begin his journey this week - as soon as he finishes syncing up his Palm Pilot.

Southwest CEO plans to travel to each customer’s house to personally apologize

by Lee BallouJanuary 3, 2023

NEW YORK CITY, NY - With thousands of canceled flights, it's clear there is only one culprit for Southwest Airlines' post-Holiday woes: Elon Musk.

New York Times agrees that Elon Musk to blame for Southwest woes

by Lee BallouDecember 27, 2022December 27, 2022

BETHLEHEM - The original Bonvoy: A wild story has emerged after one Marriott Bonvoy Gold member found himself on the outside looking in when a local Marriott refused to honor his reservation. Insult was added to injury when the man realized he and his pregnant wife weren't getting a free breakfast in the morning either.

Joseph disappointed after Marriott Fairfield Inn doesn’t honor his reservation, provide free breakfast

by Lee BallouDecember 24, 2022December 23, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC - After three terrorists revealed they have identified a radical new technology known as mixing the Transportation Security Administration found itself on the back foot this weekend.

TSA knocked on its heels after terrorists discover mixing

by Lee BallouDecember 11, 2022December 11, 2022