Fake News Archives | Page 7 of 17 | The Takeoff Nap

CHARLOTTE, NC - As sweat rolled down his chin, flight attendant Stephen Myers leaned into the cockpit and asked the captain if she wouldn't mind adjusting the air conditioning. Before he could finish asking the question she screamed, "No, it's fine where it's at!"

Captain quietly pleased with herself after getting the cabin temp up to sweltering during boarding process

by Lee BallouApril 23, 2023April 23, 2023

The pilot, who hasn’t been named publicly, received a $50 Delta Air Lines travel voucher “for exceptional bravery” after the FBI accidentally went to his room during a training exercise. The pilot was reportedly put in his bathroom shower and interrogated for nearly an hour before the agents realized their mistake.

Delta Awards $50 Travel Voucher to Pilot Accidentally Arrested By the FBI

by Anson HowardApril 7, 2023April 7, 2023

a large airplane on a tarmac

Delta’s “Most-Traveled Customer” Finally Cashes in Points for…a Trip to Disney World?

by Anson HowardMarch 30, 2023January 1, 2024

5 Tips When Renting from Hertz That Won’t Get You Arrested

by Lee BallouMarch 22, 2023March 22, 2023

DALLAS, TX - Taking a page out of Frontier Airlines' playbook, American Airlines unveiled a new employee bonus program rewarding poor customer service experiences.

American Airlines offers bonuses to employees for poor customer service

by Lee BallouMarch 11, 2023March 11, 2023

ATLANTA, GA - Steve Johnson, a 47-year-old veteran narrowbody pilot is furious after learning he will only earn a mere $475k this year to sit in the cockpit of a plane that is mostly flying itself.

Pilot furious he will only make $475k this year threatens to quiet quit

by Lee BallouMarch 9, 2023March 9, 2023

KANSAS CITY, MO - Tyrell White finished his drink service as quickly as possible practically tossing cans of unopened soda at passengers and salt-bae-ing bags of pretzels in a rush to get back to his game.

Flight attendant deploys secondary flight deck barrier so he can finish Candy Crush level

by Lee BallouMarch 6, 2023March 6, 2023

WICHITA, KS - A Delta Airlines pilot inadvertently diverted his flight to a small airport in Wichita, KS despite there being no threat or passenger freakout underway. When questioned, the pilot stated the emergency landing was simply habit born out of flying the last 2 years during the pandemic.

Pilot inadvertently diverts flight out of habit even though no passengers are freaking out

by Lee BallouFebruary 24, 2023February 24, 2023

CHICAGO, IL - After United Airlines unveiled policy updates designed to simplify the process of booking seats next to their children, parents across the globe began protesting the elimination of the little-known travel hack.

Parents furious after United removes secret travel hack: not having to sit with your kids on the plane

by Lee BallouFebruary 22, 2023

CHICAGO, IL - Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot unveiled a new plan this week to relocate homeless people from O'Hare Airport to its crappier little brother, Midway Airport.

Chicago mayor orders O’Hare Airport homeless moved to less exotic Midway Airport instead

by Lee BallouFebruary 21, 2023February 21, 2023