WASHINGTON, DC – The Federal Aviation Administration announced plans to modernize its IT infrastructure following the recent massive outage that crippled air traffic across the country. Under the new plan, the agency will upgrade all of its client desktops to Windows XP.
After experiencing a multi-hour outage that was the result of an IT contractor inserting a floppy disk that contained a copy of the Love Bug virus the FAA realized it was finally time to act.
In a new proposal championed by Secretary Pete Buttigieg, the agency plans to upgrade its entire IT infrastructure to the more modern and capable Windows XP operating system.
“Our aviation infrastructure deserves the best,” Buttigieg said in remarks that were faxed to him by the Biden Administration’s press secretary before a hastily arranged press conference. “By using Windows XP we can also save a little money because we can reuse the same hardware that was previously running Windows 95.”
The secretary also announced that the agency will upgrade its internal network infrastructure to a more current version of Novell Netware, a token-based network system popular for about 19 minutes in the early 2000s.