DALLAS, TX – After suffering the largest IT failure in its storied history, Southwest Airlines unveiled a massive IT upgrade overhaul that includes issuing new Palm Pilots to all staff members.
The bold new strategy was unveiled Thursday night via a fax delivered to all Southwest locations. The headline read: “We are listening!”
According to details from the fax, which quickly leaked, the long overdue upgrades are part of an ongoing transformation strategy employed by the beleaguered airline.
After announcing a nearly 1B loss related to the holiday failures, the airline appears to be acting quickly in an attempt to modernize its infrastructure.
The new Palm Pilots will provide gate agents the ability to check email, play the Snake game, and function as a paperweight when the gate door is opened in windy locations.
Staff, however, we nonplussed at the move, with the airline’s union issuing a statement describing their frustration that they were not being issued Blackberrys.
The post you are reading is…satire