LAS VEGAS, NV – In a case of misplaced outrage a flight attendant revealed she actually does know the difference between Monkeypox and Eczema. She just doesn’t like Eczema. Monkeypox is fine though.
A gate agent cleared things up after booting a couple from a recent flight for what they thought was a case of mistaken skin conditions. According to Sally and James Billington, they were removed from their recent flight to Cancun when a gate agent allegedly confused Sally’s dermatitis with Monkeypox.
Susan Nelson, a gate agent, was happy to set the record straight, “No, I knew it was Eczema and not Monkeypox. I just don’t like Eczema. Monkeypox, though, totally fine with that.”
She went on to say, “In fact, I let 3 people who were clearly suffering from Monkeypox on the flight. I just have a rule. No Eczema on my flights. Period.”
Nelson’s supervisor later noted that Nelson is highly trained in determining skin conditions after spending several hours each weekend reading WebMD and watching YouTube videos in between CNN reports on various outbreaks that will surely destroy all of mankind. “Yeah, she can spot the difference between measles and chickenpox from 30 feet away. And don’t even get me started on herpes.”
The supervisor added, “Besides, our airline has provided rigorous training on various skin conditions for all gate agents and flight crew. We were given one extremely detailed text-only email and instructed to listen to Joe Rogan’s podcast for more information. Armed with this information, we empower our gate agents to police their flights in accordance with their personal beliefs and dislikes and discriminate as needed.”