KABUL - The Taliban recently announced it was banning women from serving as flight attendants on Afghani airlines. Our reporters have uncovered the silver lining to this new policy.
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KABUL – The Taliban recently announced it was banning women from serving as flight attendants on Afghani airlines. Our reporters have uncovered the silver lining to this new policy.


The Taliban recently announced they were permanently banning women from serving as flight attendants on Afghanistan’s national flag carrier airline Ariana Afghan Airlines.

The move, which surprised literally no one, was announced over a year after all female flight attendants were sent home from work and while many are decrying this move, our TTN reporters have uncovered a silver lining.

Although this recent policy move may seem to some as being “slightly misogynistic” there are several bright spots to consider when taking a holistic view of the change.

Your chances of being stoned for being a flight attendant have dropped to zero

One bright spot in the Taliban’s ban on women flight attendants is that now precisely zero women flight attendants will be stoned for being a flight attendant.

You don’t have to go to school!

Just think (it’s allowed for the duration of this article): Your opportunity to continue not being educated remains at 100% if you are prohibited from becoming a flight attendant because you don’t have to go to flight attendant school. And no one likes school, right. Boom.

You won’t have to be exposed to people from other cultures

Now you won’t have to be exposed to all the weirdos and heathens from other countries who do ungodly things like think for themselves, or have fulfilling careers, or even wear swimsuits and watch the Disney Channel.

You won’t have to be sexually harassed by Taliban pilots

Assuming the Taliban can actually figure out how to train pilots, it’s almost certain that those pilots would sexually harass you as a female flight attendant. Now, the Taliban has solved that problem for you. Now, mistreatment by men will only be limited to your household, the market, and literally every other aspect of your life.

Your chances of dying in a plane crash because a poorly trained Taliban pilot panicked are low

Sure, your chances are not zero because if your husband does allow you to travel and the plane crashes because of a poorly trained Taliban pilot….well….we can’t solve everything. On the bright side, in that scenario, your husband will also die with you in the plane crash.

But, at least you won’t die in a plane crash while serving tomato juice to someone who slaps your ass as you leave.

You don’t have to fly into the Philadelphia Airport

No one wants to fly into this airport. Like, literally no one. So that’s a win.


Editor’s note: FFS…the Taliban. Wow. We don’t really know what to say, tbh. Dark humor is about all we can come up with as we watch the tragic mistreatment of women be propagated on the great Afghani women. So freaking sad.

Lee Ballou

Lee is the brains (but definitely not the looks) of The Takeoff Nap. When he's not complaining about upgrades he runs a few travel blogs, but this one is his favorite.

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5 Comments

    1. Finding a way to interject humor into such a horrible subject to highlight the horror of that very subject is tone-deaf? You must not have seen much late night comedy in your life if that’s what you believe.

    2. Satire, noun, the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

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