WASHINGTON, DC – Antitrust regulators have revealed the primary reason they’d most certainly block an acquisition by JetBlue of Spirit Airlines, and the answer might shock you.
Steve McStevens, Jr., an antitrust regulator was recently overheard at a DC-area dinner party commenting on why the United States government would most assuredly block an acquisition of Spirit Airlines by JetBlue.
In comments that were partially recorded by a TTN reporter attending what he thought was supposed to be a drag party hosted by Madison Cawthorne. In the garbled recording, McStevens can be overheard telling another partygoer that the real reason is simple: the name Frontier Spirit is just too damn good to pass up.
“I mean, what kind of name combinations does JetBlue even have up their sleeve, right? McStevens blurted. “Frontier and Spirit go together like Peanut Butter and Jelly, or Guns and Schools, or Inflation and Biden. We are almost obligated to make sure the merger between Spirit and Frontier occurs.”
The post you are reading is…satire