CHICAGO, IL – In the wake of Delta Airlines’ recent announcement restricting lounge access to percent overcrowding United Airlines has replied with its own new lounge policy that will limit lounge access to 7-minute intervals, along with several other competitive changes.
The Atlanta-based juggernaut Delta Airlines recently announced new airport lounge policies designed to reduce overcrowding in the lounges. According to One Mile at a Time, the new policy will limit access to lounges to 3 hours before departures and only for travelers heading outbound or connecting. Inbound travelers will no longer be able to visit a Delta lounge.
Not to be outdone by its rival, United Airlines quickly responded with its own airport lounge policy changes including several that are sure to be popular with travelers. The revised policy restricts the total time a traveler is allowed to be in a United lounge to a total of 7 minutes – which includes the time spent waiting in line to get in.
The new policy is designed around ensuring travelers have enough time for a healthy bowel movement in the privacy of one of the comfortable lounge bathrooms followed by grabbing an apple and cookie before leaving.
Travelers can opt to upgrade their lounge stay for an additional 14 minutes for a fee of $69 if they so choose. The fee is reduced to $49 if the traveler uses a United Airlines co-branded credit card.
At the time of press, no other airline had officially commented on the record about the new policy, but an American Airlines insider noted – off the record – that several American Airlines executives were pretty impressed with the bold new direction United’s lounges were taking with this new policy.
This article is total BS. Prove your source on the 7 minute limit at UA.
Look it up.
The article is satire. Down, boy.
Lolz. Should be an onion article
It’s satire Shari… Lighten up
Lighten up Sharen.
I fell for it. I just couldn’t wrap my brain around 7min. The way airlines have been treating their customers, it wouldn’t surprise me if it were true.
lol 🙂