LOS ANGELES, CA – After recently turning 25, Slade Smith admitted that the best part of major milestone is that he can finally rent a car. The budding young entrepreneur, who still lives with his parents, already has plans to rent a convertible for his weekend road trip to Las Vegas.
Smith, who recently graduated college with a liberal arts degree and 196k in student loans, has been staying in his parent’s loft while making TikTok videos all day as part of his latest entrepreneurial venture.
Smith, his family and his 24-year-old girlfriend Carly recently marked the joyous milestone during a Saturday afternoon pool party at his parent Topanga Canyon residence.
The budding businessman couldn’t contain his smile during the party and was even observed creating a Hertz account in preparation for an upcoming Vegas road trip.
“Yeah, bro. We ’bout to hit that Strip,” Smith hooped to his crowd of buddies, all of whom were wearing pastel Ralph Loren tank tops, “I am booking the Escalade right now, y’all!”
Allegedly, although this has not been confirmed, Smith’s grandfather was observed on the patio remarking to his new wife, “This dumbass doesn’t even have a real job.”
For their part, Smith’s parents beamed as they viewed a first car rental as a hallowed ritual marking the last major milestone in raising kids. “We did, honey,” gushed Smith’s mom as she finished making the young Slade a plate of food. “We actually did it!”
This is not satire. This is real. It would be satire if he was happy that he could now do donuts by driving a rental car. More than 10 years ago, there was an issue about Toyota having unintended acceleration. It was later learned that floor mats could get caught in the gas pedal. One highway state patrol officer on vacation with his family called 9-1-1 complaining that his car was driving at over 100 mph and his foot was off the gas pedal. Everyone in the car died in a crash. It was later reported that cars’ brakes are stronger than the gas so if you step on the brakes hard, you can come to a stop then shut off the engine. I verified this in a rental car. Step on the gas and the brakes hard. The car stops. Want to buy a used rental car?