SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In the chaos of the recent Twitter layoffs, the controversial billionaire executed his other plan by terminating the Twitter account of that young lad who won’t stop tracking his private jet. Musk has privately admitted the real reason he bought Twitter was to deal with this annoying kid.
As predicted by TTN reporters, Elon Musk has finally revealed the real reason he bought Twitter and it has nothing to do with free speech or AOC.
It’s that damn kid tracking his jet.
After initially attempting to buy the kid off, Musk attempted to just buy a crapload of private jets sending them in opposite directions every day to make it harder for his whereabouts to be tracked. In the wake of that purchase, Musk noted that “If this plan doesn’t work then I am just going to buy Twitter, and ban his account. I will literally even buy Gab and Gettr too.” Musk later added, “But not Facebook, cuz Zuck is a bit of dick.”
When the ploy to use multiple planes didn’t work, Musk deployed plan b: buying Twitter.
Now, under the cover of layoffs, proclamations of free speech, and a bout of hardcore flirting with AOC, Musk is executing his coup d’etat: deleting the account of that pissant kid tracking his jet.
According to the recently terminated Twitter engineers Rahul Ligma and Daniel Johnson who sat down for an exclusive interview with our TTN reporting staff, Musk demanded they delete the kid’s account on day 1 and when they were refused, Musk terminated the Ligma-Johnson duo immediately.
As of this article’s publishing, the account still remains active as the person who deletes accounts were fired this morning and there is no one left to actually delete the account.