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Category: Middle Seats

Middle Seats, Long Security Lines & Chatty Passengers? Who doesn’t love to fly, right?

WICHITA, KS - A Delta Airlines pilot inadvertently diverted his flight to a small airport in Wichita, KS despite there being no threat or passenger freakout underway. When questioned, the pilot stated the emergency landing was simply habit born out of flying the last 2 years during the pandemic.
Posted inTravel

Pilot inadvertently diverts flight out of habit even though no passengers are freaking out

by Lee BallouFebruary 24, 2023February 24, 2023
CHICAGO, IL - After United Airlines unveiled policy updates designed to simplify the process of booking seats next to their children, parents across the globe began protesting the elimination of the little-known travel hack.
Posted inMiddle Seats

Parents furious after United removes secret travel hack: not having to sit with your kids on the plane

by Lee BallouFebruary 22, 2023
CHICAGO, IL - Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot unveiled a new plan this week to relocate homeless people from O'Hare Airport to its crappier little brother, Midway Airport.
Posted inTravel

Chicago mayor orders O’Hare Airport homeless moved to less exotic Midway Airport instead

by Lee BallouFebruary 21, 2023February 21, 2023
DALLAS, TX - Union reps for American Airlines' flight attendant union reminded its members of the longstanding rule after the airline unveiled a new surreptitious in-flight monitoring program.
Posted inFake News

AA flight attendant union reminds folks that snitches get stitches

by Lee BallouFebruary 9, 2023February 9, 2023
WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Aviation Administration announced plans to modernize its IT infrastructure following the recent massive outage that crippled air traffic across the country. Under the new plan, the agency will upgrade all of its client desktops to Windows XP.
Posted inMiddle Seats

FAA to modernize IT equipment, upgrade to Windows XP following massive outage

by Lee BallouJanuary 14, 2023January 14, 2023
DALLAS, TX - After suffering the largest IT failure in its storied history, Southwest Airlines unveiled a massive IT upgrade overhaul that includes issuing new Palm Pilots to all staff members.
Posted inMiddle Seats

Southwest issues new Palm Pilots to all staff in massive IT upgrade project

by Lee BallouJanuary 6, 2023
WASHINGTON, D.C. — This reporter was in Washington, D.C., to observe the madness that is the Speaker of the House election when he heard of a major development at airports across the country.
Posted inTravel

DEVELOPING: Flights Canceled After TSA Detains Thousands at US Airports When Passengers Say “Bomb” 

by Anson HowardJanuary 5, 2023January 5, 2023
DALLAS, TX - American Airlines executives called an emergency meeting late Tuesday night after learning they'd been supplanted by Southwest Airlines as the worst airline.
Posted inMiddle Seats

American Airlines furious Southwest has supplanted them as worst airline

by Lee BallouJanuary 4, 2023January 4, 2023
DALLAS, TX - In a heartfelt message shared earlier this morning, Southwest Airlines CEO Bob Jordan announced plans to personally visit each customer affected by the recent travel chaos. Working in partnership with United Airlines, Jordan plans to begin his journey this week - as soon as he finishes syncing up his Palm Pilot.
Posted inMiddle Seats

Southwest CEO plans to travel to each customer’s house to personally apologize

by Lee BallouJanuary 3, 2023
NEW YORK CITY, NY - With thousands of canceled flights, it's clear there is only one culprit for Southwest Airlines' post-Holiday woes: Elon Musk.
Posted inTravel

New York Times agrees that Elon Musk to blame for Southwest woes

by Lee BallouDecember 27, 2022December 27, 2022

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