Middle Seats Archives | Page 3 of 15 | The Takeoff Nap

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This reporter was in Washington, D.C., to observe the madness that is the Speaker of the House election when he heard of a major development at airports across the country.

DEVELOPING: Flights Canceled After TSA Detains Thousands at US Airports When Passengers Say “Bomb”

by Anson HowardJanuary 5, 2023January 5, 2023

DALLAS, TX - American Airlines executives called an emergency meeting late Tuesday night after learning they'd been supplanted by Southwest Airlines as the worst airline.

American Airlines furious Southwest has supplanted them as worst airline

by Lee BallouJanuary 4, 2023January 4, 2023

DALLAS, TX - In a heartfelt message shared earlier this morning, Southwest Airlines CEO Bob Jordan announced plans to personally visit each customer affected by the recent travel chaos. Working in partnership with United Airlines, Jordan plans to begin his journey this week - as soon as he finishes syncing up his Palm Pilot.

Southwest CEO plans to travel to each customer’s house to personally apologize

by Lee BallouJanuary 3, 2023

NEW YORK CITY, NY - With thousands of canceled flights, it's clear there is only one culprit for Southwest Airlines' post-Holiday woes: Elon Musk.

New York Times agrees that Elon Musk to blame for Southwest woes

by Lee BallouDecember 27, 2022December 27, 2022

COLUMBUS, OH - Karen Jones is pretty sure she wants a divorce but agreed to one more holiday trip just to make sure. Besides, no one files for divorce in December.

Wife pretty sure she wants divorce but wants one more holiday trip to make sure

by Lee BallouDecember 23, 2022December 13, 2022

WASHINGON, DC - Transportation Security Administration (TSA) Chief Dan Pekoske announced a new study to evaluate the merits of changing the longstanding 3.4 oz liquids rule to something far more generous.

TSA considering changing the 3.4 oz liquid rule to 3.6 oz

by Lee BallouDecember 15, 2022December 15, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC - After three terrorists revealed they have identified a radical new technology known as mixing the Transportation Security Administration found itself on the back foot this weekend.

TSA knocked on its heels after terrorists discover mixing

by Lee BallouDecember 11, 2022December 11, 2022

ATLANTA, GA - Delta Air Lines will undergo a major refreshment — teaming up with American Express to start an all First Class airline launching January 1, 2025.

Delta Leaving SkyTeam in 2025, Forming Independent Airline with American Express

by Anson HowardDecember 5, 2022December 1, 2022

A wealthy white woman decides to skip private and fly the Greyhound of the sky: "There are no seat assignments just a lot of passive-aggressive purses placed on the seats."

Wealthy white woman flies Southwest, hilarity ensues

by Lee BallouNovember 30, 2022November 30, 2022

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL - In a tit-for-tat arms race to the bottom, two budget airlines are desperate to see who can provide the worst customer experience. After watching Frontier Airlines cut its customer service line, Spirit played its ace card by eliminating customer service altogether.

Spirit Airlines one-ups Frontier, eliminates customer service altogether

by Lee BallouNovember 27, 2022