Fake News Archives | Page 10 of 15 | The Takeoff Nap

WASHINGTON, DC - As the pilot shortage reaches new highs, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is considering raising the retirement age to unheard-of levels in a bid to take the pressure off a demoralized workforce.

Proposed: Retirement age for pilots raised to 103 as pilot shortage continues

by Lee BallouJuly 27, 2022July 26, 2022

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Virtue signaling and outrage reached new levels this week when a survey revealed the real reason so many celebrities want federal mask mandates to continue is because it's so much harder now to travel anonymously.

Survey reveals most celebs are just ticked at mask mandate removals because they can’t travel anonymously anymore

by Lee BallouJuly 26, 2022July 26, 2022

ATLANTA, GA - Airlines are begging governments for a return to the draconian lockdown seen at the height of the pandemic in a desperate bid to scale back travel demand. "We can't find anyone who wants to work anymore and this is insanity!" said one travel exec pleading for the mask mandate to be reinstated.

Desperate airlines beg governments to reintroduce draconian COVID lockdowns again since they can’t find people to work anymore

by Lee BallouJuly 12, 2022July 9, 2022

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Two Southwest Airlines pilots were taken into custody this morning by Birmingham airport police after aborting their takeoff, a violation of state law.

Southwest Airlines Pilots Arrested in Alabama After Performing Aborted Takeoff

by Ted CroosJuly 11, 2022July 10, 2022

ATLANTA, GA - As airlines desperately struggle to find staff to meet overwhelming demand some are finding themselves forced to use methods they'd never considered before: paying them fairly and treating them well.

Airlines so desperate for employees they are willing to pay them fairly, treat them well

by Lee BallouJuly 10, 2022July 6, 2022

AUSTIN, TX - After terminating his attempt to buy Twitter, the famed billionaire is setting his sights on a familiar travel company that's been in the headlines quite a bit lately: Spirit Airlines.

Musk cancels Twitter deal, sets sights on Spirit Airlines next

by Lee BallouJuly 8, 2022July 8, 2022

ATLANTA, GA - Following the busiest weekend on record for airlines that saw overflowing gates, full flights, and oversold cabins, one Delta Air Lines deployed a novel approach to compensate passengers for being denied boarding.

Delta Passengers Receive A Mere 58 SkyMiles For Denied Boarding

by Kyle StewartJuly 8, 2022July 6, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC - As the Transportation Security Administration announced increased scrutiny on pilots and crew going through airport security, airlines universally support measures, suggesting this is definitely the right move during the worse pilot shortage ever seen.

Airlines agree that giving pilots a harder time going through security is the right move during pilot shortage

by Lee BallouJuly 6, 2022July 5, 2022

ATLANTA, GA - After a chaotic weekend, one airline CEO issued a new apology directed at the passengers of one weekend flight. In the missive, the CEO expressed regret that the flight actually left on time, no luggage was lost, and that overall service was pretty good.

Airline CEO apologizes for that one weekend flight that actually left on time; didn’t lose any luggage

by Lee BallouJuly 5, 2022July 2, 2022

British Airways CEO Sean Doyle issued a formal apology letter to the CEOs of other airlines - all of which were male - for having to acknowledge that women can be doctors too.

British Airways CEO apologizes to other male airline CEOs for having to admit women can be doctors

by Lee BallouJuly 1, 2022July 1, 2022