Fake News Archives | Page 13 of 15 | The Takeoff Nap

CHICAGO, IL - In the wake of Delta Airlines' recent announcement restricting lounge access to percent overcrowding United Airlines has replied with its own new lounge policy that will limit lounge access to 7-minute intervals, along with several other competitive changes.

United announces new airport lounge policy allowing travelers to visit for only 7 minutes at a time

by Lee BallouMay 7, 2022May 7, 2022

CHICAGO, IL - In what can only be construed as a bid to top Delta Airlines' recent offer to pay flight attendants during the boarding process, Chicago-based United Airlines is announcing a new program that will pay flight attendants while they get ready for work.

United Airlines tops Delta with new offer to pay flight attendants while they get ready for work

by Lee BallouMay 2, 2022May 1, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC - The recently announced Disinformation Governance Board, or Ministry of Truth as it's casually known, quickly set its sights on a first target: accurate communications during flight delays.

Ministry of Truth gets to work quickly; starts on the lies told during flight delays

by Lee BallouMay 2, 2022April 30, 2022

DENVER, CO - A bored United Airlines pilot decided to execute a go-around after completing an extremely uneventful 3-hour flight. When asked why he chose to do the unneeded maneuver, the pilot responded, "I just needed some fun, man!"

Pilot decides to do a go-around just for fun

by Lee BallouApril 29, 2022April 29, 2022

NEW ORLEANS, LA - A Louisiana traveler was dumbfounded when his wife actually boarded their flight on time last Thursday. Apparently she didn't even run to the bathroom.

Man Shocked When Wife Doesn’t Use Restroom or Go Shopping When It’s Their Turn to Board Flight

by Anson HowardApril 28, 2022April 29, 2022

CHARLOTTE, NC - Representative Madison Cawthorn (R - North Carolina) was caught with a loaded handgun at Charlotte Douglas International Airport (CLT) on Tuesday.

SOURCES: Rep. Madison Cawthorn’s Gun Not Discovered in His Lingerie

by Anson HowardApril 27, 2022April 26, 2022

FORT MILL, SC - As the 207th employee leaves vaunted miles & points travel website The Points Guy, a report has emerged suggesting the company's master plan is still right on track.

The Travel Blogger

The Points Guy’s master plan is right on track as 643rd employee leaves company

by Lee BallouApril 26, 2022April 23, 2022

NEW ORLEANS, LA - The Marriott Bonvoy team turned out in full force at the 31st annual Freddie Awards in New Orleans, Louisiana. However, after winning 5 awards including the hotel program of the year and best elite program, the team was forced to admit that the Bonvoy program simply isn’t working.

Marriott disappointed to win so many Freddie Awards; finally admits Bonvoy program isn’t working

by Lee BallouApril 25, 2022April 25, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC - Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was caught on a hot mic when he expressed surprise that Republicans were still allowed to travel in the post-pandemic era.

Mayor Pete surprised Republicans are still allowed to travel

by Lee BallouApril 20, 2022April 20, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC - A federal judge has struck down the federal judge who struck down the federal face mask mandate requiring face masks or coverings on airplanes, busses and trains in a dramatic confrontation.

Federal Judge strikes down the other Federal Judge who struck down mask mandate

by Lee BallouApril 18, 2022April 18, 2022